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The Spoiler's Review

The Spoiler's Review - Chapter 21.1 - Blondie and the Beast

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Good Morning Angels!

Once there were three little boys who went to the Army. And they were assigned very hazardous duties, but the zombie apocalypse took them away from all that. Now they work for no one. They are the Survivors.

It was revealed weeks ago via chatbox by KC himself that Wayside Flowers advert in Chapter 20 was indeed an Easter Egg. So right away I take a few minutes to listen to this advert over again. Heh, you guys can’t fool me this time. I head over to assuming it’s a fake creation made by the WA staff. At first glance I think it is but I click over to the forums for confirmation. The posts go back to Fall 2010. I also find this from a website rep:

“We are actually very good friends with we're alive folk,I'm even a voice on a episode. Really great guys. You'll be hearing a commercial for us on their podcast soon.” –Hydra_Lord (Septemeber 2010)

So I guess they are real!

Chapter 21.1 - Blondie and the Beast


Cowboy Bricks and Gunslinger Tardust are rolling through (I assume) the California countryside with Lizzy in back. I’ve had these kind of arguments over the radio station many, many times. It helps me concentrate OKAY? It sounds like they’re part of a large convoy. Scratch is cracking the whip over the radio. Pucker your buttholes boys, boss lady is angry. Audio is doing awesome here with all the clicks and ticks and tires spinning on dirt. Everything from the filtered voices on the radio to the paper rustling is clean and crisp. I’ll forgive the lack of lyrics in the music since the dialogue is more important and song writing is time consuming.

Gunslinger is whining about his legs hurting and Bricks tells him to shut up. Hmm, maybe not so whimpy after all? Scratch, why do you sound like me when I drive?

Tardust lets us know that the Mallers have been bird watching around the Tower for some time. He teases them for continuing to use CB radios. Perhaps this flaw in their system may resurface when our Good Guys encounter a new faction… or an old one? Durai is mentioned and the audience’s ears perk up but there’s no details regarding his survival but we remain optimistic. Convoy 1 is ahead of them and there’s a good chance he’s leading that group while Scratch is taking care of Convoy 2. Bricks allegedly “ripped” the head off one of the “non-scary”creatures. This is interesting. Perhaps their bodies are becoming more brittle as time passes?

During the 3 week break whilst curled up on the floor rocking back in forth in my room, I had an epiphany! I won’t take credit for the whole idea since it was briefly suggested by others before me, but I analyzed the radiation theory and it mostly makes sense. The explosion in the beginning, the toxicity of ground zero, the mutated humanoids, their appearance, etc. Hell, it could even be chunks of a shattered meteorite that broke off in all corners of the Earth. Who knows.

Back to the story.

I’m not sure I get Bricks character. He’s been made out to be the friendliest of this duo obviously but are you a tough guy or a pushover? He kind of goes back and forth during this car scene. In Chapter 20 he sat back like a good boy and did what he was told. Now he’s threatening to put hands on Tardust JUST because Scratch said so? Do you really need to be told that rape is unacceptable?

On the flip side, Tardust’scharacter has made notable improvements. He’s not perfect quite yet but believable in this episode. He’s taken on a nastier tone and whining like a pre-teen who got his Gameboy taken away. It makes him appear somewhat more realistic. In the last chapter, I was having a difficult time picturing him as a villain in a post-apocalyptic world. Now he reminds me of a character from a Stephen King book-to-movie called Dolores Claiborne.

Kathy Bates Oscar-worthy scene.

I’m reminded that it takes the end of the world for a $500 deductible to disappear when Tar rear-ends the car in front of him. The charted road that Convoy 1 took earlier is now blocked by an overturned dumptruck. Uh oh. This sounds familiar.

Lizzy, take a hint from Scratch. Don’t ask them to listen, TELL THEM to. The inevitable happens and the convoy is attacked by the creatures and the crowd goes wild! Suit Zombie drove the kids out for a buffet in a dump truck for stuffed Maller Chops (Do these monsters procreate? Is there a nest somewhere? Are these stored bodies meant to feed their young?). Unfortunately Tardust lives through this attack and he, Bricks, and Lizzy escape the ambush with what’s left of the convoy including Scratch. Oddly enough I was more concerned for a moment that Scarface wouldn’t make it. You can’t kill her yet! I need my wife swap scene!

Even though Lizzy shouldn’t have anything left in her stomach to puke, she somehow manages to again. I’m starting to doubt this is morning sickness but it’s too early to call. It’s no surprise that the Mallers kept slaves. No doubt these are average everyday folk who sought shelter with the worst group and they are left behindt o die. It’s amazing how humanity becomes so primitive in a time of crisis.

Victor is assimilated into the Tower and relunctantly keeps a journal while watching the monitors. Sucking on cancer sticks is bad mmk but pissing off Kalani is fun. Michael and Angel arrive expecting the worst but all’s quiet on the western front. We get more info about Kalani’s flying skills. The good news is that he flies helicopters, not planes. In a situation such as this, I prefer helicopters anyway. Vertical takeoffs and landing are much better suited for a “zombie” apocalypse. I don’t know jack about helicopters so I’m not even going to pretend but I remember a pilot telling me on a field trip in grade school that they could get up to 10 people in one. Kalani is confident they can fit everyone into two choppers and that he can train someone else to pilot (gee, I wonder what flower that could be…). That’s great but I’m left wondering if they can haul their survival supplies along as well.

Now they must find a couple of birds and track the Mallers. They might have luck in finding a medical chopper still parked on the rooftop of a hospital. I know sometimes the police and paramedics keep them parked on the ground. We’ll know soon enough.

The Tower goes on alert as a battered up stranger appears at their door who calls himself Pippin.

Hmm, but this just seems too easy to me. Writing never gives us the answer in such an obvious way. Last chapter Scratch mentioned that they haven’t heard from the Tower Rat in a while. If the Tower Rat is too busy to snitch then it’s quite possible it was someone who was out of the Tower during the last couple chapters. Scratch also said “we still have her” before Tardust clarified who he meant. Perhaps this “her” is the lover/spouse/relative of the Tower Rat? If the Mallers have slaves, I would imagine they were using this as leverage to get that person to work for them. Fascinating.

As part of my Monday ritual, I listen to the podcast, jot down, notes and forbid myself to view the forums until my blog post has been written. I do this to prevent any cross pollination between my views and others. With 2/3 of my weekdays already planned out in advance that 1/3 I get to myself makes me vulnerable to interruptions and prolongs my contribution to the forums. It’s very difficult to hold all this stuff in till the end of the week. I will survive!

Overall this was a great opener episode to have after such a loooooong break. I think everyone overworked the crap out of every theory we've ever discussed to pass the time. I was so driven by my withdrawal pains that I broke my vow to not make up theories! I've had my fix, and now I want more.

Writing 97%
Audio 100%
Acting 97%
Episode Rating 98%
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Updated May 24th, 2011 at 06:02 PM by Zombiehead

The Spoiler's Review


  1. yarri's Avatar
    The withdrawal pains hurt don't they? I find them nearly unbearable.
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